I am GENIUS* (*or slightly retarded)

(This blog was originally written on Myspace)

The other night I was bored. So bored in fact, that I decided to take an IQ test. I entered ‘IQ test’ into Google (thus passing my first task with aplomb) and clicked on the first result to pop up. It required me to enter my age and email address, which I was a little weary about, but I entered them (using my spammy mail address where all my junk goes) and readied myself for the test.

Up the test popped. It was 30 questions with multi-choice answers and I was given 15 minutes to answer them. I went straight into it and was immediately stymied by the first question. It involved maths, and I HATE maths. So, after spending minutes on a question that should have taken 30 seconds, I was playing catch up. As the final seconds ticked by, I randomly clicked the answers of the last few questions just to be finished in time. I awaited my results and clicked through various pages only to be told I’d have to pay to get my results! BAH!!! Then I got a ping from my mailbox, i checked and it was my test score. My age adjusted score was 96 and the average for my age group was 100…

NO!!! I’m below average! I AM Spazz-ticus!

I wasn’t having that. I searched the Google results for a site whose IQ test I could trust, and i found it – MENSA. Yup, that’s what all those bloody clever genius folk are members of! I was more than up for the challenge of the Mensa FUN test. It was similar to the previous, though not every question was multi-choice, and it gave you a more leisurely half an hour to answer the 30 questions. Again there were maths questions to hurt my tiny mind, but also lovely wordy ones like “What 4 letter word can you add to CARD, BOX, CODE, BAG, HASTE to make other words?” My brain loves those and can answer them fairly quickly.

I finished the test more or less on time and clicked for my results. The wonderous Mensa gave me my score instantly, the trustworthy souls. I scored 21 out of 30 and Mensa informed me that was almost good enough to qualify for their genius club, though I’d have to take the proper Mensa test to find out…

YES!!! I AM GENIUS! Like Bert Weinstein or Steve ‘Justin’ Hawkins. Well, prolly…

(by the way, the answer to the Mensa question for those of you a bit slow in the ol’ headbox is, of course, POST)

(What do you mean you knew that already? EFF YOU, muddyfunster!)

(Pff…)

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