Feature: The Top Five Movie Bromances

Ah, Valentine’s Day. The one day a year in which we get to celebrate love in all its forms, huff and puff loudly at the crass commercialisation of a martyred saint, or, you know, do the sex. Whatever your view, we can all agree it’s a great excuse to roll out silly feature, so The Shootening is taking a look at the greatest love of all – The bromance. We’ve all heard the saying – Bros before females (no sexist/misogynist language here, please), but what of those poor unfortunate types who know not what this love is? Well, don’t worry we have the top five examples neatly listed for you below.

*WARNING: SPOILERS*

5. In Bruges – Ken and Ray

First up are Ken (Brendan Gleeson) and Ray (Colin Farrell), two hitmen holed up in Bruges after a hit went wrong in London. Okay, so far so dull. Hang in there. You see, Ray is suicidal after his first and only hit led to the death of a child, and Ken has a new-found appreciation for life after his stay in Bruges. A call comes in and Ken is asked to kill Ray. Can he do it? Can he hell! This is a bromance, buddy. A whole heap of shit goes down and (this where Ken gets himself the uppermost bromanship award and in our bromance countdown) Ken throws himself from off the top of a church to warn Ray that he’s about to be killed. That’s love right there, pal.

4. The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly – Blondie And Tuco

How can these two backstabbing ne’er-do-wells be friends, let alone have a bromance, I hear you cry? Some relationships are built on the love of money, and this is the archetypal one. Tuco (Eli Wallach) knows the whereabouts of the graveyard where a small fortune of gold is buried. Blondie (Clint Eastwood) knows the name of the grave. They lie and they cheat their way across the States, keeping each other alive as well as trying to screw each other over at every opportunity. Sounds like love to me. And if you want any more evidence of their bromance, check out the trust a hanging Tuco puts in Blondie when he has to make the shot to save his life…

3. Lethal Weapon – Riggs And Murtaugh

The longest and healthiest friendship featured in our top five, Riggs (Mel Gibson) and Murtaugh (Danny Glover) prove bromances can last through toughest of circumstances. Be it drug dealing mercenaries, money laundering South Africans, corrupt ex-cops, Chinese Triads, or things closer to home like madness, suicidal tendencies, or imminent retirement, they’ve been through it all and come out the other side the best of friends. It gives hope to us all.

2. The Dark Knight– Batman and The Joker

Okay, I’m focusing on The Dark Knight here, but this could cover the entire Batman/Joker relationship over the last seventy years. Theirs is a burning obsessive bromance that will destroy them both. The Joker is a manipulative player of mind-games, teasing and provoking the Batman. Bats is the guy who just can’t let go, his desire to bring down The Joker all-consuming. As The Joker says himself while hanging precariously above Gotham  – “Oh, you. You just couldn’t let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible, aren’t you? You won’t kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won’t kill you because you’re just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.” We’ve all been there, haven’t we?

1. Fight Club – Jack and Tyler Durden

Jack and Tyler. The ultimate symbiotic bromance. One can’t live without the other. Literally. Jack (Ed Norton) has a massive boy-crush on Tyler (Brad Pitt) when he takes him out of workaday existence and into a world of brutal bare-knuckle fist fights, soap rendered from human fat, and guerrilla urban terrorism. When Tyler’s extremism starts to push Jack’s limits, he wants out. That’s pretty much impossible, though, seeing as Tyler is all a figment of Jack’s imagination. What follows is a downward spiral of self-destruction which culminates in Jack shooting himself in his own head and the destruction a financial district in an unnamed city. Which sounds a lot like every relationship I’ve ever been involved in.

Disagree with my choices? Have I left a glaringly obvious bromance from the list? Let me know below.

Other Features:

The Shootening’s Sundance Rundown

The Amazing Spider-Man

Bjorn’s Top Ten Games Released This Autumn

Top Ten Comic Book/Sci-Fi/Superhero Hotties

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