Feature: Top Ten Deadliest Movie Characters (Whom I Like)

I’ve been on a bit of an action movie bender lately. Among the more forgettable, throwaway titles, I watched The Expendables, the movie that brings together an entire generation of action movie stars, and Taken, where Liam Neeson plays and ex-CIA agent who’ll go through anybody and anything to rescue his kidnapped daughter. These two titles got me thinking – Exactly how many people have these walking holocausts killed altogether?

Luckily, I wasn’t the only person to have thought this (and thus am not a psychopath. Or at least not a lone one), and there are whole websites dedicated to such matters – moviebodycounts.com and allouttabublegum.com being just two. Though they have different criteria on what constitutes a kill, I’ve used their stats to compile a shiny top ten of my own. There are deadlier characters out there, in lesser known, not as good films, but these are ones I actually give a shit about. So, without further ado, here are my Top Ten Deadliest Movie Characters (Whom I Like) –

10. Jason Bourne.

Jason Bourne. The man who gave over his entire identity to be trained as one of the world’s deadliest super assassins. Or so we thought. Yes, he may be gifted in hand-to-hand combat, battling other assassins with a variety of improvised weapons like pens and rolled up magazines, but the number of people he kills in his movies? Surprisingly low. In The Bourne Identity he kills 4 people. In The Bourne Supremacy he remains consistent with another 4 kills. By the time The Bourne Ultimatum credit roll, he’s only added 2 more kills to his to total. Heck, Martin Blank (John Cusack), the hitman who has pangs of conscience in Grosse Pointe Blank, racks up 10 kills to his name in his one movie appearance. If this was a school report, I would write “Must do better”.

TOTAL KILLS = 8

9. The Terminator.

The first of two cyborgs on the list (go on, guess the other), The Terminator is literally a killing machine so his presence on the list is granted. That said, as Arnold Schwarzenegger characters go, ol’ Termie isn’t that deadly. Oh, it starts off that way, in The Terminator it scores 21 kills. When the T-800 rears its head in Terminator 2: Judgment Day it’s lost its edge completely and doesn’t kill ANYBODY (Thanks a lot, John Connor). By its reappearance in Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines, it manages 2 more kills, but by then it’s ready for the scrapheap.

TOTAL KILLS = 23

8. RoboCop.

Ah, RoboCop, Paul Verhoeven’s vicious satire of eighties culture. Or something. And it’s got a well load of killings in it too! Yup, Peter Weller’s RoboCop dispatches 20 lawbreakers during Verhoeven’s film. In the sequel, though it was one of the most violent movies of the nineties with second highest body count in total, RoboCop takes it a little easier with 13 kills to his name. As for RoboCop 3, we’ll forget that ever existed, okay? Will the remake/reboot hit these dizzying heights? We’ll have to wait and see.

TOTAL KILLS = 33

7. Bryan Mills.

Taken is actually the reason for this list. I am amazed and thrilled by Liam Neeson’s metamorphosis from serious actor into one of the best action heroes. I loved him in The Grey as a grizzled hunter battling the elements and a pack of vicious wolves after a plane crash in the Arctic tundra, and finally seeing Taken sealed the deal. Bryan Mills is the embodiment of vengeance as he tears his way through Paris looking for his kidnapped daughter, killing 33 people and injuring 13, all of which handily totalled up on a scoreboard feature on the Blu-Ray. No doubt Mills will rank higher when Taken 2 is released.

TOTAL KILLS = 33*

(* as both Mills and RoboCop have 33 kills I’ve place Mills higher because he managed it in just one film)

6. Martin Riggs.

The man Murtaugh (Danny Glover) jokes should be registered a “lethal weapon” was always going to pop up in this list. Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) was a special forces vet who found his way into the police. After his wife dies/is killed he loses it and becomes something of a loose cannon. At his deadliest in the best film in the series, Lethal Weapon, he kills 17 people (Murtaugh takes out 4). In Lethal Weapon 2 he takes care of 13 filthy South Africans (Murtaugh gets 7). When Lethal Weapon 3 comes around, the poisoning effect of popularity and chasing the audience tones down the series, and Riggs only kills 4 people (Murtaugh matches that, but one of those was his son’s friend he accidentally kills in a shoot-out). Lethal Weapon 4, which I just want to glaze over please, sees Riggs get 6 kills to Murtaugh’s 5.

TOTAL KILLS = 40

(Murtaugh’s total is 20, putting him ahead of Jason Bourne. And he said he was too old for this shit.)

5. The Man With No Name.

The first anti-hero, the icon, The Man With No Name. Clint Eastwood’s poncho-wearing gunslinger plays off two warring families in A Fistful Of Dollars and scoring 18 kills. In For A Few Dollars More while tracking down an outlaw, he takes down twelve folk. And in Sergio Leone’s epic The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly, his Blondie (Good) kills 11 people. To put that into perspective, Tuco (Eli Wallach, the ugly) gets 6 kills and Angel Eyes (Lee Van Cleef, the bad) only kills 3. So, who is the bad guy really? I’ll let you decide.

TOTAL KILLS = 41

4. John McClane.

How can the same shit happen to the same guy four times (five, really, as the new one is being filmed as we speak)? Probably something to do with the millions the franchise brings in. Bruce Willis’s John McClane is an everyman, an everyman with the ability to kill “everyman” that gets in his way. See what I did there? Ahem. Anyway, when trying free Nakatomi Plaza and rescue his wife in Die Hard, McClane kills 10 people. In Die Hard 2: Die Harder he rescues an airport with his 23 kills. Die Hard With A Vengeance sees him take out 13 people and Live Free And Die Hard has him kill 12 persons.

TOTAL KILLS = 58

3. The Bride.

The only woman on our chart, Kill Bill‘s The Bride (Uma Thurman) more than holds her own against the guys. In fact, this is where we start hitting the Champion’s League of deadliness. The Bride and her sword are a force to be reckoned with and total up 76 kills in Kill Bill: Vol. 1, mostly down to that epic battle with biker gang, the Crazy 88 (though there aren’t 88 members, it’s just a name). When Kill Bill Vol.2 rolls around, she only adds one more kill to her score, the eponymous Bill.

TOTAL KILLS = 77

2. John Matrix.

Arnie’s second appearance on the chart, but it could have been so much more. The man is a weapon of mass destruction. His Douglas Quaid in Total Recall kills 44 people, and his Harry Tasker in True Lies kills 51. I settled on John Matrix from Commando simply because his lethality is a level above anything else we’ve thus far encountered on this list. If you dare to kidnap his daughter to blackmail him into assassinating someone, you’re asking for a massacre, and Matrix doesn’t disappoint racking up 81 kills by the time the film finishes. I don’t think it’s Bennett who needs to let off some steam…

TOTAL KILLS = 81

1. John Rambo.

If this list does anything, it at least proves the deadliest name in the movie world is “John”. Yes, budding writers out there, if you call your character John he will kill everyone and everything, whether you want him to or not. If you add the surname “Rambo” then quite frankly you’re bringing about the apocalypse. It didn’t start off that way, though. Sylvester Stallone’s misunderstood Vietnam vet only killed one person in First Blood, and that was in self-defence. Nope, it’s only when he goes back ‘Nam in First Blood: Part 2 that Rambo starts scoring the big numbers – 58 dead Vietnamese and Russians. By the time he’s helping to wage a one man war against Russian forces in Afghanistan in Rambo 3, he’s racking up 78 kills. And like a fine wine, he gets better with age – well into his sixties by the time Rambo is released nearly two decades later, Rambo battles the Burmese army and kills 83 of them, barely breaking a sweat. Let’s face it, nobody comes close to Rambo in terms of deadliness. His films aren’t the best, but his body count ratio is untouchable. John Rambo, you are the very top of my Top Ten Deadliest Movie Characters (whom I like). Congratulations.

TOTAL KILLS = 220

So, there we have it. What do you think of the list? Are there any characters you think should be included? Who do you think should have been left out? Let us know below.

Other Features:

“I’m Gotham’s Reckoning” – The Dark Knight Rises Third Trailer Breakdown

“Big things come from small beginnings” – Prometheus Trailer Breakdown

“Guys, I’m Bringing The Party To You” – The Avengers Trailer Breakdown

Top Five Movie Bromances

The Shootening’s Sundance Rundown

The Amazing Spider-Man

Bjorn’s Top Ten Games Released This Autumn

Top Ten Comic Book/Sci-Fi/Superhero Hotties

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One Response to “Feature: Top Ten Deadliest Movie Characters (Whom I Like)”

  1. This is a great post, I love the kill count at the bottom. Guess I never realized how many people died at the hands of Rambo in just 4 movies. Crazy!

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